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Anubis Newbie/Transcript
Transcript by: Masutton1 Sun: (burping) Felicity: Miguel! Miguel! I got a new picture for our wall of friendship. It's us playing cards with Teddy the Tuna Fish! Miguel: I remember that! I said "Go Fish", and Teddy left. I'll hang it next to this picture of us hanging another picture. Felicity: Your painting of the Nacho King is crooked. Miguel: He's not the Nacho King. He's King Nacho! My Anubis dog ancestor. Felicity: Didn't you tell me that Anubis dogs are a big deal in the Egyptian underpants? Miguel: Underworld. I've been studying Anubis history cuz' someday I hope to have my own kingdom like King Nacho! Ancestor's a cool job cuz' you make your own rules. Felicity: Oh, look, hieroglyphics! Miguel: Luckily, I'm fluent in hieroglyphics! Oh, no, I'm wrong. I was thinking of Spanish. Felicity: That's a picture of you and some mythical notes! Miguel: Hmmm... Looks like a power cord. (Miguel plays guitar and floor falls) Both: Ahhhhh! Felicity: Oh, look Miguel! It's the Nacho King! Miguel: It's King Nacho. Is it really you? King Nacho: Well that's what it says on my library card! King Nacho: By playing the power cord of... DESTINY... You've gained passage to... THE UNDERWORLD... King Nacho: Now, it is time for you to discover if you're worthy to become a powerful Anubis ruler. Miguel: Ha! My dream come true! And I get to share it with my BFF, which stands for Best Friend Felicity. King Nacho: Oh, wait, no, no, the Anubis ruler testing is, uh... traditionally taken alone. Felicity: Please let me stay! I can make pretty colors. (Felicity makes colorful fireworks) King Nacho: Oh. King Nacho likes. You can stay, but only Miguel can take the test. King Nacho: Miguel, it is time to PLAY... Are You Ready to be an Anubis King? Felicity: (gasps) It's a game show! I love game shows! Go Miguel! King Nacho: Now, before we start the game, let's get to know Miguel. It says here you enjoy spicy tacos and digging holes in your yard. Miguel: That's true! Do I win? (crowd laughs) King Nacho: Ohoho! Let's find out. Miguel, name the 3 most important qualities of an Anubis king. You have 30 seconds. Felicity: Go Miguel! Miguel: I studied these. The first quality is... is... Felicity: CONCENTRATE! You can do this, Miguel! (Felicity blows party horn) King Nacho: 20 seconds. Miguel: Ahh! The first quality is... always defend the underworld against invaders! King Nacho: Correctamundo! (air horn sounds) King Nacho: 10 seconds. Miguel: Okay, the second quality is... Felicity: Go Miguel! Miguel: Never use the excuse "The dog ate my homework" because you're a dog! (air horn sounds) Felicity: Yay! (blows cannon-like gun full of confetti) King Nacho: You're on a roll! All you need is one more right answer! 5 seconds! Miguel: Ahh, oh, ahh! Th-th-the third most important quality of an Anubis king is uhh, uhh, uhh! Felicity: Look when you're sad and never wear plaid! Miguel: WHAT?! King Nacho: Ohhh! Concentrate! You're out of time. The third and most important quality of an Anubis king is always knowing when to take charge. Felicity: (sighs) Sorry, Miguel. I was only trying to help! Miguel: It's okay. Lots of people go through life without living up their dreams.(cries) King Nacho: Stop your silly crying. Because you answered 2 of the 3 questions correctly, you can move on to the next round! (crowd cheers) Both: Yes! King Nacho: Round 2 is the gauntlet round! Each of these pyramids is the entrance to a different gauntlet! Go ahead, and pick one. Felicity: Oh, go for Pyramid 3! No, wait 1! I mean, 2! No, 3 was right! Miguel: 3, I guess. King Nacho: Congratulations, Miguel! You picked the pyramid of unrelenting TERROR! Miguel: She picked it! King Nacho: Now, for the record, the other gauntlets were the pyramid of candy, and the pyramid of bowling with your friends. Miguel: I wanna pick again! King Nacho: No take backsies. Prepare for unspeakable horrors! (crowd gasps) Miguel: I just have to make it through that gauntlet in one piece. And also alive! And I'll be an Anubis king. Felicity: Stay alive! Yay! (Felicity throws the sign and something breaks) Miguel: Okay. We've gotta time this perfectly! Run when I say the word! Felicity: What's the word? Miguel: I don't know. We need something punchy! Felicity: How about "babysitter?" Miguel: Are you sure that's not 2 words? Felicity: There might be a hyphen. I'll look it up! Ugh, there's no wifi here! Is wifi hyphenated? Miguel: Ahhh! Felicity: Ooh! Got a signal! Miguel: Ahh! Felicity: Oh no! I lost reception! Oh, never mind, it's back. Miguel: Ahh! Yikes! Felicity: I lost it again! Miguel: Ahhh! Felicity: Oh, it's back. Miguel: (teeth chattering) Felicity: Hm-hm-hm-hm-hmm~! (Miguel presses button) Miguel: (gasps for air) Felicity: What do you know? Turns out you can spell wifi both ways. King Nacho: Good job, Miguel. You earned 20 points. All you need is 80 more and you'll be king! Felicity: Miguel! Miguel! Win this thing! And be a ruler like the Nacho King! Nacho King: It's King Nacho, and no cheering allowed in the pyramid of unrelenting terror! You lose 5 points. Good luck. Felicity: Sorry... Both: Ahhh! Felicity: Rainbow Butterfly Uni- Ah! Miguel: I got this! (Miguel plays EPIC guitar solo) Miguel: I can't believe that actually worked! Giant Cobra: ROAR! Both: Ahhh! King Nacho: Miguel, you earned 30 points for defeating the snakes, but lost another 40 because your friend helped you. Miguel: Felicity, if I'm ever gonna be an Anubis king, I need to do this on my own, which means you can't help me anymore. Felicity: Can I still hold up signs? Miguel: No signs! Look, no matter what happens, no matter how much danger I'm in, you're gonna have to let me handle it. Felicity: Anything for you. I'll pretend like you're not even here! (puts on headphones and runs away) Miguel: Thanks, Felicity. Mummy: Roar... ROAR! Miguel: Back off, mummy! You're dealing with someone who's only 70 points shy of being an Anubis king! (Mummy takes Miguel's staff and breaks it, and kicks Miguel) Miguel: Stop! Felicity: (dances to song) This song's my jam. Miguel: Well I did tell her to let me handle this on my own! Yikes! Felicity! We've got a little bit of a situation here! Felicity: Maybe in our world here, lives a happy little fluffy kitty. Miguel: Felicity! Felicity: Oh! Hey, Miguel. Cool mummy. Miguel: He's not that cool! Felicity: Well, I'd love to help, but I promised not to. Go get em' champ! Miguel: Help... me! Felicity: Are you sure? Miguel: Yes! Felicity: You got it! Rainbow Butterfly Unicorn Kitty! Butterfly power! (whips up whirlwind) Unicorn power! (blasts with laser) Mummy: I want my mummy! Miguel: Thanks for saving me Felicity! But I guess a real Anubis king would've been able to defeat that mummy on his own. Felicity: You did your best, Miguel! Miguel: King Nacho, I know what you're gonna say. I failed the test because I asked Felicity to help me. King Nacho: On the contrary! You earned a full 100 points and... passed the test! (air horn sounds) Miguel: What? How? King Nacho: Well, as you recall from Round 1, the most important quality of an Anubis king is knowing when to take charge, and by insisting that Felicity help you defeat the mummy, you took charge, and acted like a true ruler! Congratulations! You're an Anubis king! Miguel: YES! It's my dream come true! Felicity, it's the happiest day of my life! Felicity: Hahahaha! When you're happy, I'm happy. King Nacho: That's sweet, now say goodbye to each other forever. Miguel: Sounds good! Wait what? Nacho King: As an Anubis ruler, you must leave your old life and friends behind to focus on your kingdom. Felicity: It's okay, Miguel. This is everything you've ever wanted. Miguel: I know, right? Felicity: Good luck, Miguel. You're gonna be a great king. Miguel: Thanks BFF, I couldn't have done it without you by my side. Felicity: (cries) Miguel: Which is why I always want you by my side. King Nacho, I'm honored to be chosen, but I'm gonna have to say no. (King Nacho spits out drink) Miguel: My true destiny is to stay with my best friend. Felicity: I'm so happy! Miguel: Well, when you're happy, I'm happy. (crowd cheers) Both: Pinky thumb, pinky butt! King Nacho: Miguel, I accept your choice, even though I think it's totally bonkers. All I can say is... Thanks for playing Are You Ready to be an Anubis King? (air horn sounds)